


Dysphoria

by Hakuhouou



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 00:31:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15206858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hakuhouou/pseuds/Hakuhouou
Summary: Attempt at Trans perspective





	Dysphoria

I wonder when I became a joke to you  
Was it when I chose to let my hair grow?  
Or was it before that?  
Was it when I wore those heels on a dare,  
And liked them enough to forget I was wearing them?  
Was it when I found my sister’s (your) skirt  
And put it on out of curiosity? (It swished wonderfully.)  
Was it when I bought make up for her  
And knew enough to know what was good and would work?  
I wonder, and then I decide I don’t care.

Because it’s me who’s wearing these things.

And Me who finally feels comfortable in my own skin.

What does it matter that I wear a long skirt  
On days that the sight of my muscled (shaven) legs make me want to cry?  
What does it matter that I wear a mini  
On the days that I want to flaunt who (what) I am?  
If I want to wear a slinky, silk-velvet evening gown, I will.  
If I want to wear a white, lace-covered dress, if it fits me, who cares?  
This is me, silk, lace, ruffles and all.

Yes, I wear make-up.  
Why not show off the results of my efforts,  
When it took me hours to learn this in secret?  
It’s one of my tools to finally feel at home in my skin.  
And yet you begrudge me my right to feel normal,  
My right to feel like myself.

The option of surgery these days  
Is one I covet heavily.  
To make my outside look like my inside completely?  
I would take that up in a heartbeat.  
To have been able to use the Medicinal option  
before now – that would have been ideal.  
But, alas, I had (have) no support network,  
No means of reaching beyond the expectations of those around me.  
I am trapped (in this body), by those who profess to love and care.

Therapy? What need have I of such?  
Unless you speak of the retail option,  
I have no need of it.  
This is me.


End file.
